Paving Your Path
We are used to seeking healing from others and things outside of us, whether it is a piece of chocolate, a therapist, a spouse, or a friend. Subconsciously, we often assume that others can solve our problems, tell us where to go, or how to be. Perhaps we are just used to being told the how to be good or “do the right thing” that we assume there is a roadmap. We assume that other people have the answers. It’s a humbling moment when you get to the place where you realize that there is no roadmap, and no one can tell you exactly how to do it.
You look around and everyone is dealing with their own stories, worries, and concerns. Your story is not high on their list of concerns but you will still get an opinion or a piece of advice if you ask, even if they don’t know exactly what it’s like to walk in your shoes or have the full information of your life trajectory. This may seem strange coming from a therapist, who’s job it is to guide people or to advise. But I don’t look at my role in that way. I believe that everyone has the answers for themselves, embedded within: where to go next, what decision to make, how to navigate their interpersonal relationships. It’s just that these answers may be embedded or shrouded in layers of conditioning, fears, doubt, negative experiences, or mental perceptions.
Therapy can be a guidepost for uncovering who you are and where you are going. But at the core, it is really each individual’s job to start shedding the things and the layers that aren’t really themselves. Does a baby come into life worried about their appearance? Does a child worry what their friends will say
We’re working with a lot of learned behaviors, scripts, and thoughts that may not even be our own. What I have learned from my time traveling and being in indigenous culture is that growing up with the backdrop of nature allows you to have a freedom within yourself and your spirit that modern society doesn’t provide. Confidence within oneself and ease within ones own body seems to be in short supply in our modern upbringings. So much so, that most people who enter therapy are suffering from a severe disconnection from their own self, whether they know it or not, because if one was connected to one’s own spirit and at ease within themselves, things like depression, anxiety, inner turmoil, or obsessive thinking wouldn’t be the primary problems in life. And in fact, we see that these so-called disorders are not seen at the level in traditional societies as they are seen within modern society.
So what’s to be done? We can’t change the world we live in all at once. We can’t necessarily turn back the hands of time and erase all of our negative conditioning. But we can start to tune in more to the signals of our bodies: the need for more nature, the small signals in dreams or intuition, the aches and pains, and the mental patterns keeping us stuck. These are just the warning signs that we may not be living in touch with what the Earth has for us, or in other words what was written for us when we came into this life. It’s not an easy thing to walk against the tide of a culture that doesn’t honor the whispers of the spirit. But at some point, when the inner voice becomes too loud or the bodily tension too palpable, we have to recognize that world as it is structured may not be serving us. And when this realization hits, there’s nothing left to do except get quiet and try to find the self again. Our spirit are meant to flourish on this Earth, despite social and cultural influences. Therapy, one that is focused on aligning you with yourself, is one way to shed the layers and return to your original script, a script that no one know, except you.